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Why won't men commit to a relationship
This seems to be the oldest question in the book. For years women have been trying to figure out what goes on in the minds of men. There are several reasons why men won't commit. We will explore a few of those infamous reasons. Men are very funny. They believe the world should revolve around them. If they find a woman who will conform to their lifestyle, then it's easy to get them to commit to a relationship. The issue here of course, is that most women will not conform nor should they to any man's lifestyle.
So, how do you get a man to commit to a long-lasting relationship? Well, first do not hassle them about commitment. Men hate to be pressured into any situation, especially relationships. They feel this is the beginning of the downfall of their youth. It is silly, yes, but this is the major reason a man will not commit. When a man becomes involved with a woman, more so if his friends are not married or involved, he feels like he is selling out his friends. No longer will he join in the long nights of partying and picking up women at the bar for those fruitless one night stands.
Now, maybe you have been seeing this guy for a while and you know this could be the one. Your sex life is great and you laugh and have fun all the time. You even say to yourself, "Geez, we don't even argue." So why won't he commit? Men become very comfortable when they know that the woman is available for them. The easiest thing for a man to do is just go with the flow. Life is nice when men can have their cake and eat it too. Of course as in any relationship, there must be total communication. Without communication nothing will work for the long term. If after you are having all these discussions about your relationship and you cannot get a commitment out of him, the issue now is does he really love you or is he comfortable. Men who are truly in love with someone will commit their whole life to the woman they love. They will give up everything to take care and nurture the wonderful feeling of love.
So, if you are involved with a man and he tells you he loves you but is not willing to alter his life for you, you have to ask yourself, "Does he really love me?" Although there are certain legitimate priorities in one's life that cannot be altered such as work and family obligations, having to go out with his friends all the time is not one of them.
Finally, we reach the last point of our discussion on why men won't commit. Men will not commit for the fear that someone better will come along. Someone prettier or someone funnier or someone less bitchy. I know all of you women are up in arms about that bitchy comment. The fact of the matter is that if women didn't get irritated with men as much, it would be easier for men to commit. Nobody likes to be henpecked to death. The issue of men waiting for someone else to come along is actually a problem for both sexes. If a man is totally in love, then he would never be waiting for someone else to come along. Too many people settle for mates that they shouldn't have settled for. There are several more reasons men do not commit but for now, this should give you a little insight into the thought processes of the elusive male.
Why men want to have sex on the first date
The biggest mistake a woman can make with a man is to have sex on the first date. I know. It was such a romantic time and the mood was right. That may be true, but the fact of the matter is that almost all men who try to have sex with you on the first night do not really like you. Then why do they try?
Men are programmed from a very young age to be sexually dominant. It is the man who is judged by how many women he has had. Of course, not all men feel this way and this changes with age. This is very important so listen carefully!!! If a man tries to sleep with you on the first date, he does not like you. He is doing one of two things. He is seeing how moral you are, because if you sleep with him on the first night then obviously you will sleep with anyone on the first date.
Second, he doesn't like you. I know it sounds very "piggy", but men will try to have sex with any woman that will let them. It's in their blood. If a man likes you and thinks of you as a potential life partner, he will court you. He might give you a goodnight kiss but not much more than that. When a guy is truly interested in a woman, he definitely will not blow it by trying to sleep with her on the first night. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule but not many. Some couples who slept with each other on their first date and lived happily together after, but this is not the norm.
What goes on in a man's mind when he gets rejected
Ladies, ladies, ladies, if you ever could be in a man's shoes when you told him you wouldn't dance with him, you probably would never reject another man again. Asking a woman to dance, never mind for her phone number, is the hardest endeavor a man has to endure in his lifetime. He has to work up the nerve, walk up to her, try not to look like a fool, and ask you a question which is not too stupid, not too weird, and not too corny. You think that is easy?
Most men take several minutes to several hours preparing for this dangerous journey. The sad part is, by doing this they put so much thought into popping the question that they inevitably blow it. All that preparation and all those thoughts of soaking in the sun on a Caribbean vacation together with your kids by your sides are destroyed in a heart beat. After the "rejection," the man walks away with his head slung low, not sure whether to just leave or try again with someone else. He thinks all of his friends and hers must be laughing at him now. He is a failure. He cannot accomplish the simple task of getting a date. What a loser.
I know that you women out there think this is ludicrous, but this is what goes on in a man's mind. And then there are your macho men who figure if they hit on every women in the bar, they will get lucky with one of them. The sad part is, they do. Then you have the nice guy who goes home alone and dejected. So next time you get asked to dance by a harmless man trying to have fun, dance with the guy. He probably isn't looking for marriage.
Which men are good catches
How do you know if the guy you want is the right one for you? This is an age old question. There is no exact science to this but there are a few clues that are easy for everyone to understand. Number one, if you spend most of your time arguing, then don't waste your time trying to have a relationship. It won't work, and if it does work, it will end in a bitter, horrible divorce that nobody should have to go through.
You should ask yourself, if we can't get along now, how will we get along when we are married and the bills are tight and the kids are screaming and he wants to go out and play pool? This is an incompatible relationship and should have been nipped in the bud. Next in this vital category is the way that he treats you. Are you treated like a lady? Do you feel like you are the focus of his attention? When you talk to him does he listen or daze off in space? If your answer to these questions is "no," then I think you know the answer to the relationship.
Here is what you should expect from a man. A man who treats you with respect and dignity. A man who asks about your day. A man who cares about what you just said about your day. A man who is sensitive. A man who can talk about anything with you when YOU need someone to talk to. A man who is not all wrapped up in himself. A man who opens the car door for you every time. A man who makes you smile. A man who lets you into his heart. A man who loves children and would love to be a Mr. Mom. A man who cares about his physical health and hygiene. A man who is nice.
I know that women have a problem with men who are nice, but keep in mind a nice guy is real hard to find so when you catch one, don't let him go. And of course we cannot forget a man who is a caring lover who actually cares about your needs as a woman. What a concept! When you have found some of these qualities in a man you have done a good job. If you find many of these qualities in a man then you have done a great job. Now, if you have found all these qualities in a man you better grab him fast, because he isn't going to be single for too long.
Differences in men by age groups
Let's see, this is interesting. We will start with men in their 20s. This is the hardest group of men to tame. They are young, horny and nothing can stop them. They love to go to bars (at least until their late 20s) and they love to party. Their friends are more important than any woman could be, and no way will a woman come between their friendships. Commitment, what is that? These are the least likely of people to settle down. They have their careers to conquer and their testosterone to let loose. Men in their 20s would rather go to a bar and pick up someone for a one night stand than anything else. Sex is the goal of most men in this age group. Of course the further along in their 20s they get, the more they start to realize what morons they were for the past eight years or so.
Men in their 30s are turning the corner into mature adulthood. In fact, most men in their 30s are more mature than women in their 30s. At this point in their life they have figured out that all that partying just wasted brain cells and the women they were with were just a blur. They are beginning to establish themselves in their careers and start getting the paternal yearning. All men go through it and it's more to replace what they could have been as younger boys. These men realize that women are not that much different than they are. Women are people just like men. They are not the sex objects that they thought they were in their 20s. Respect is a new word that men learn and it becomes very attractive to them. Most men are prime marriage material during their 30s. This is when they are most likely to be the best catch!
This brings us to men in their 40s. There are two different types of men in this age group: never been married and divorced. Which is better? That all depends. Men in their 40s are well established in their careers. The ones who have never been married could be in that situation for several reasons. Most of the time it is because they put their career before their social life. Many of these men are not socially prepared to deal with sharing their lives with someone since they have been alone for a very long time. But there are also many of these men who are emotionally stable and ready for commitment and love.
Now we need to talk about divorced men in their 40s. Men who have been divorced by their wives are usually bitter. They most likely didn't understand their wives so their wives wanted out. Men in this situation are likely to be clingy and badly in need of a relationship. The problem is that they are not emotionally ready to have a relationship. Instead, they are in need of lots of therapy, a lot more than a woman.
Men in their 40s who divorced their wives present a whole other set of problems. These men are usually going through some sort of mid-life crisis and need to sow their oats. They will not commit to a relationship nor are they looking for one. In some ways, men in this situation tend to revert back to their 20s. Just looking for a good time with as many women as possible. When they see commitment heading their way, they usually run as fast as they can. After all they feel like they just lost all of their possessions and that all women are evil. It's not his fault that he got bored in the relationship after all. Stand clear of most of these men in their 40s.
Finally we come to men in their 50s, 60s and older...do men live that long? These men are usually smarter and getting close to retirement. If they have been divorced for a while, they will start to slow down and look for someone to have companionship and happiness with. But, they also know that there are usually ten to twenty women for each guy so they can be as picky as they like. They are also looking for someone who is ten years younger or more. This makes it very difficult for women in their 50s and higher.
These men are usually very nice and worldly. They have had many life experiences and usually realize right from wrong at this point in their life. Generally, they are nicer at this age since this is the twilight of their lives and who knows how long they will live. They feel that this is a time for making up for their shortcomings as a human.
Men in this age group tend to reflect back on their lives and wonder what they could have done better. These men, if you desire to take on the challenge, make very loving, caring partners. They have learned what women are all about at this point and realize that a wonderful relationship is the greatest gift of all. The only thing you have to beware of with this group is that they will not live very long and you will have to deal with the children and the inheritance.
Secrets about men
This is probably the part you have been waiting for most. Some secrets have already been divulged such as men trying to have sex with you as a test. Here are a few more:
Speaking of macho, most "macho men" are really insecure babies. Men are really insecure about their bodies, unless they look like Adonis.
The important thing to remember is that what we have talked about here are a lot of generalizations. There are many wonderful men out there for you to fall in love with, and understanding the thought processes of men will help you find your perfect match.
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